The Republic of Lockka 9 is a mammoth, orderly nation, notable for its state-planned economy, unlimited-speed roads, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 9.248 billion Lockka 9ians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 33.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped Lockka 9ian economy, worth 318 trillion deniers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, fairly diversified black market in Gambling, Woodchip Exports, Cheese Exports, and Automobile Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 34,490 deniers, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Getting an infected tattoo is considered a rite of passage in Lockka 9, discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation is illegal, customs officers pretend not to hear shouts of "HELP LET ME OUT!" emerging from diplomatic bags, and tough diplomacy is often best handled with a nutcracker. Crime is almost non-existent, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lockka 9's national animal is the cobra, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Lockka 9 is ranked 247,423^rd in the world and 13,276^th in Lazarus for Nicest Citizens, with 9.76 average smiles per day.